your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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