Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
