The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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