I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
