this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
