Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
