Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
