I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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