as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
