"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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