Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
