We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
