Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
