I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
