Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
