I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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