Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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