dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
