...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
