She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
