I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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