The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
3 2 1 whiskey
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
