Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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