So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
