Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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