we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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