i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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