So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Randomize
