Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
