She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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