hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
