please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
