Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
