You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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