you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you didnt know i had herpes?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Less talking, more tequila
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
