You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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