can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
