Your tits are I can't wait for
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
