So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
