She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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