Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
