bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
