Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
