KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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