Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
