You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
