I need help removing her.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
