He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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