This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
