i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
