I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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