Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I AM VODKA MAN
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
